Skip to main content

Being for Others

The holidays are here and like always I had to seize this one rare opportunity to tidy up things a bit- especially my room! Well, obviously there was a lot of things that lazed around- but what caught my eye in particular was a piece of paper I had filed in my "2010 Diary". That got me thinking about things- and here I am- sitting down to write about it!


 From the top view one might say that I want to live the life in my own way wherein I’d be allowed to do what I want to; I’d be allowed to speak what I want to; live the life the way I want to and act in the way I want to. One would find this behaviour or ideology common amongst the teenagers and children. We always love to do things in our own way. But, “What does living the life for one’s own self mean?
The main question of this article is that whom should we live this life for; for others or for self? 

There are many situations wherein we behave and act according to the outside world. We dress up in a way to look well organized to the world and there is nothing wrong in that. Many of our routine tasks of self-cleanliness and staying fit are small examples where we – to some extent only – do act according to the outside world. We stay in families and groups of relatives, neighbours, colleagues and friends. We deal with different types of people day in and day out.
With all these in place, do you really think one can avoid acting as per others? It is difficult. One has to think, speak and act according to the time, place, situation, people and the context in which they are dealing with. When all these factors are in sync, only then one can be known to have acted appropriately.
"Sartre states that many relationships are created by people's attraction not to another person, but rather how that person makes them feel about themselves by how they look at them.
This is a state of emotional alienation whereby a person avoids experiencing their subjectivity by identifying themselves with "the look" of the other. The consequence is conflict. In order to maintain the person's own being, the person must control the other, but must also control the freedom of the other "as freedom".
These relationships are a profound manifestation of "bad faith" as the for-itself is replaced with the other's freedom. The purpose of either participant is not to exist, but to maintain the other participant's looking at them. This system is often mistakenly called "love", but it is, in fact, nothing more than emotional alienation and denial of freedom through conflict with the other.
Sartre believes that it is often created as a means of making the unbearable anguish of a person's relationship to their "Facticity" (all of the concrete details against the background of which human freedom exists and is limited, such as birthplace and time) bearable. At its extreme, the alienation can become so intense that due to the guilt of being so radically enslaved by "the look" and therefore radically missing their own freedoms, the participants can experience masochistic and sadistic attitudes.
This happens when the participants cause pain to each other, in attempting to prove their control over the other's look, which they cannot escape because they believe themselves to be so enslaved to the look that experiencing their own subjectivity would be equally unbearable."

Thus, being for others could actually mean being for our own self- given that the whole experience is a pleasing, reveling and endearing  journey! So we do not have to be extremely or radically selfish to be for our own self. Living for Others could be great- after all, are we not all one?! 

P.S. Don't we "be" for our parents?! ;)

Popular posts from this blog

If a guy stares at you for a long time while smiling does he like you?

There's this guy at my work who I've been starting to get to know better, and I've noticed that every time he sees me he always gets this big smile on his face and he stares at me all the time. He has this look in his eyes that I can't really explain but it seems like he's fascinated or dreamy. Plus I'll be doing something and I'll look over at him and catch him looking right over at me, and he just smiles and I smile back. Today as he was leaving work I saw him from a distance but I didn't say anything because I wasn't going to shout across the parking lot, and he just developed this big smile while looking right at me, and I couldn't help but smile too. Then he came over and we talked a little before he left (he seemed nervous and he's kind of dorky, but I think it's cute) I don't know, I just feel like he stares at me just a little longer than any other person. I was wondering if this could mean he likes me?

Comparing the lifestyles of celebrities and ordinary people

Disney’s TV Show Hannah Montana depicts the female protagonist’s choice of leading an ordinary life despite being a celebrity. The show fluidly walks us through the distinct lifestyles of a celebrity and that of an ordinary person in terms of their set of values, ways of life, activities and attitudes. Whether celebrities and ordinary people are truly different would require a close diagnostic. The first thing that comes to mind when discussing celebrity and common man’s lifestyles is luxury . From the sports industry to the entertainment industry, from politicians to business tycoons, the mantra “if you’ve got it, flaunt it” seems to be painted all over the walls that frame celebrity life. Because of the power and extraordinary amount of wealth they have, celebrities live a life that the normal man can only dream of. For instance, with real-estate assets worth more than just a few million dollars across the world, celebrities have better vacation options than an ordinary

Because being honest and being frank are two poles apart!

   *I have been meaning to write this since 3 weeks now.* I wonder why people take it for granted that they can do anything to you and say anything to you! Honestly, how can people be that honest?! I don't get it! Now, just so that I get over this- we had rather just start! , I think that each one of us has been frank at least once in our life!  Frankness broadcasts itself as a means for people to soothe their inability to contain their comments.  Because want it or not- Frankness in comparison to honesty is a bad thing. Basically because being frank hurts the object and makes the subject feel good, whilst honesty-well honesty is good for both! Being frank is a stupendo fantabulously fantastic thing for many of us. It's been for me. Mainly because it allowed me to believe that I existed and it made me feel good- it made me feel good because I could put my opinions forward. But to be honest, I don't it's been the best thing to do!  Frankness hurt