Possessive Girl Friends or Caring Girlfriends

I believe that girls have this natural maternal instinct. This obviously propulses us to care for others and to be compassionate and understanding. This often leads us to give part of us easily, not expecting much in return. And I think that somewhere down the line, guys know how to take advantage of this caring nature without really meaning to- often it's an unconscious act.

 “With closest custody, guard your heart, for in it are the sources of life.”

But I think in the process, we should make it a conscious decision not to always cave in to this primal instinct-To always be the protective wings and with expectations to have the egg hatching beneath it to become yours or even love you back…It’s not necessarily romantic love that I’m trying to conjure up over here.. But about those daily help, advices, affection we offer even to our little sister, to the stranger in the bus or to the hot guy with a serious relationship problem…We tend to think that the wings of love that we built is going to not only keep us warm in the heart but also manage to woo the heart of the beloved… these expectations, these inner turmoils and these thoughts are not good.. They do not demonstrate love, but rather a need to be loved back, to be accepted… In a sense we are all merely selling something to barter for kindness and attention!

It’s better we love, cuddle and protect because of the compassion we exude and the sheer empathy we have for a being and not for the selfishness of owning the person..

If so is the case, perhaps it’s time to consider some distances…Yes, it’s hard to hear, and I’m probably not the first to tell you that backing away may be beneficial. Not just beneficial for you (so you’re not constantly giving of yourself without receiving in exchange), but also for the person. 

Distance from you may help him realize what he needs to do. Maybe he needs to do some maturing on his own. If the person is not taking action in telling you how he feels, there’s a reason for it. If we initiate the relationship it may be hard for the person ever to take that leadership role. And trust me, it’s a lot more fun to be pursued than to do the pursuing. Instead of trying to convince a person that you’re worth it, wait for someone who is already convinced of that. +Shik Sim ;)

Time spent together, open communication, and inside jokes that you share are going to be replaced by someone else in his life or yours. So try to keep your current friendships in perspective. Let us appreciate the friendship as a gift from Our Alter Ego, not expecting it to be a lifelong best-friend level relationship. As we try to navigate the muddy waters of high school relationships, She’s the one best friend you can count on to always be there...:)

DISCLAIMER-Meant for female empowerment! :P (Y) ;)