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| DISCLAIMER/WARNING- I still don't get all these people who find joys in things like relationships! The following has been written from a Guy's Perspective- a lot of friends liked the previous one! (Rushaa :P) Besides that, we've been writing too much about Girls' Crushes, I think one from Guys, would not harm.. P.S THIS LAD IS WAY TOO SWEET, WARM AND KIND-THAT'S THE ONLY IMAGE I HAVE OF A CHARMING KNIGHT +Shik Sim SO DON'T THINK EVERYONE'S LIKE THIS! |
When you
love someone, you grant them total freedom to be who they are, for this is the
greatest gift you could give them, and love always gives the greatest gift. And
that is only what she’s doing. But why am I feeling bad about it?!
I was
expecting things. Sure I was. I can’t lie to you myself anymore. I wanted her
to say things I wanted to hear. But that’s not the way things work right?!
Talking
to her became a something without which my day can’t see sunset long back. I
knew this 11 months ago. I always knew this. I know this still today. I knew
that I had to stop back then even. But I didn’t. I wanted to venture in waters
I never felt comfortable in and longed since so long to dive into. But this
time I think I did take a deep dive!
I have
to return back. That’s all I know. I felt aghast when she laid the Ego Game
before me. She didn’t use to do that! She
just started to do it!
That’s how
they all are I guess, pulling out the wrong cards at the wrong times!
Pfftt..
Why can’t they just say things spontaneously?!
Were it
to keep things in check, I had understood- but here it’s more like she’s going
to get hurt as soon as she admits things!
Why
would not she? I would have turned my back in any case had she said anything I
wanted to shear! Yes I’m bad. I want people to love me-but I feel scared to
give the love back.
But this
time, I did give love back-loads of it even! All I got is the freedom, respect
and space. Sure- this is everything any man would want. But I
was hoping for more. I had expectations. I tried to halt them. But they
overtook me and overpowered me.
You know those animalistic feelings that men get- well, they suddenly awaken whenever I'm around her. I feel this inner drive to protect her, fight for her and wish to never let go. I would constantly become emotionally hungry-and she would be my source of emotional fulfillment-and know that without her, I'm almost like a fish without water. She will never have to ask me to commit- because I feel like that's where I truly belong. I feel frightened at times to lose her to some other man-but I know myself enough, I would respect her choice no matter what!
It's just that I used to feel these subconscious urges to do nice and pleasant things for her. I used to get a lot of pleasure out of making her happy.
But, I want to love her, not only adore her. I believe I still have a long way to go in that matter...