Seated in front of our old television set I was perplexed as to how Mam (maternal grandmother) could believe in the mystic creation of the Rama Setu that bridged Sri Lanka and Southern India through the invocation of Indian divinities. It was more valid to me that the big boulders floated on the ocean by the principle of density and because of the civil engineering marvel of an ancient civilization. I was six and timid, but in my eyes was a glint marking my first instance of challenging a normative belief.
Some five years elapsed and I found myself at the birthday party of a cousin. It was just like any other family dinner: everyone talking politics until blasphemous Tata (maternal grandfather) mentioned some irrational rituals conducted by a priest Mam had called for a house prayer. That, of course, irritated my grandmother but titillated me to pronounce the following: “Those priests work only for money, they don’t even explain us anything. Tata is speaking true, why do we even have to do all these rituals? I used to love God as one of my many imaginary friends, but now some ask me to fast, to make sacrifices and a whole bunch of illogical limitations that no friend of mine would want me to bear! Society tends to make people think this God of theirs, gets angry if not served and pleased and that he will throw his wrath on us and punish us severely! Muslims and Arya Samadists are so more spiritual, they don’t need any idols to have faith like us Hindus!” I lucidly remember the pin-drop silence that followed. Since the dispute between family members of the different religious following as to how to conduct my great grandfather’s final rites, I had been wanting to bring up religion on the table.
Since then, I no longer visited the local temple with my cousins and urged people I met to understand that merely praying is not enough to be a devotee; the knowledge of the Vedas and the Upanishads is also important. My room went cynically free of God’s pictures and idols. I no longer celebrated festivals and paid no importance to superstitions. I leafed through the Bhagavad Gita, the Qur’an and The Bible to shoot a string of queries to our family priest, relying more on a process of self-education and good guidance. I made of my life, a living testimony of how I wanted to challenge religion.
Towards the end of my freshmen exams, when my identity crisis and existential dilemma were at their peak, ‘Conversations with God’ by Neale Donald Walsch paved its way into my life, introducing me to the spirituality embedded within religion.
I believe I have been able to a humble extent decipher and interpret religion as a profound philosophy, science and art of living rather than a blind faith. I came to know that my questions such as “Where we come from? Who created the Universe?” had no foundations earlier. That is why they never had any answers. The answers didn't belong to religion to formulate. The answers had always lied deep within me. And it is religion entwined with spirituality and science that taught me this.
Thus, I did not dither in challenging, much queerly, my own beliefs again.
I feel that we should question our beliefs perpetually for unexamined beliefs spawn no further questions or opportunities to grow into the grandest version that we might have ever conceived of ourselves.
In Margaret Thatcher’s words, "I love argument, I love debate. I don't expect anyone just to sit there and agree with me, that's not their job." I do not expect myself either to eternally agree with what I currently believe in.
Change and differences are only very natural and I do not feel disparaged to get off my comfort zone to challenge something, learn and inspire myself from it.
Until next time,
Be Light,
Much love,
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