Well, for a second blog post, no one would have expected one filled with negativity. Rhea, I would like to apologise to you since you have all your effort in turning this into a source of positivity. Beware, this will be overloaded with ranting and complaining, also confrontations with reality.
For a start, I'll say it. I have hurt people, many of them. And, I cannot make up for it for some reason which can seem self oriented, but which is the truth. Let's face it, everybody is selfish. Somebody taught me that. I don't think I have ever lied to anybody, I just hid things for the better. I just wanted to help. I tried to, at least. I wasn't successful, surely. Should I be condemned for that? (Give me a verdict, I want to know if I should) I know I have been there as a friend always, even if my presence wasn't all the time considered and ignored. Has that been reviewed? I don't think so.
Is the relationship going to be terminated? Where are we going? How to end this? How not to hurt further? Is it possible to end it without hurting anyone or anything? I want an answer from myself, from others, from everybody. Do I still matter for them?
If we aren't meant to hang out together anymore, can we still work together? We will have to do that, I guess. I am ready to keep personal differences away from work.
To be honest, I have been hurt by the fact that the consequences I will have to face due to their decision have not been considered. I know I have a say on who hurts me but they had permission to do so from always and still do. It's not easy. (This can be ignored if I am too guilty because I am able to get over wounds)
It's up to me to evaluate the situation and find solutions. But now, I will leave it to time. My hands are tied and I can't get out or help people out.
For a start, I'll say it. I have hurt people, many of them. And, I cannot make up for it for some reason which can seem self oriented, but which is the truth. Let's face it, everybody is selfish. Somebody taught me that. I don't think I have ever lied to anybody, I just hid things for the better. I just wanted to help. I tried to, at least. I wasn't successful, surely. Should I be condemned for that? (Give me a verdict, I want to know if I should) I know I have been there as a friend always, even if my presence wasn't all the time considered and ignored. Has that been reviewed? I don't think so.
Is the relationship going to be terminated? Where are we going? How to end this? How not to hurt further? Is it possible to end it without hurting anyone or anything? I want an answer from myself, from others, from everybody. Do I still matter for them?
If we aren't meant to hang out together anymore, can we still work together? We will have to do that, I guess. I am ready to keep personal differences away from work.
To be honest, I have been hurt by the fact that the consequences I will have to face due to their decision have not been considered. I know I have a say on who hurts me but they had permission to do so from always and still do. It's not easy. (This can be ignored if I am too guilty because I am able to get over wounds)
We are our own pit guy. The HIMYM crew doesn't know how right they have been about that. I need to get out of this pit as soon as possible. Why did I even do it in the first place? Unfortunately, being sorry doesn't seem to alter our lives.
I did what I was expected to do. I don't think I will have to prove myself further. It will turn into an abuse of my conscience if ever it is requested.
"As the tide washed in, the Dutch Tulip Man faced the ocean: 'conjoiner rejoinder prisoner concealer revelator. Look at it, rising up and rising down, taking everything with it'
'What is it?' I asked.
'Water,' the Dutchman said. 'Well, and time.'"
- Peter Van Houten, An Imperial Affliction (The Fault In Our Stars)It's up to me to evaluate the situation and find solutions. But now, I will leave it to time. My hands are tied and I can't get out or help people out.