Dear Facebookers,
Three years ago, I had made the decision to give up Facebook. August 2013- I could still have reported that I'm alive and that the past two years of hiatus from Facebook have been life changing - the two most vibrant years of my existence even!
Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, and YouTube were all on my blacklist, well - sort of. My goal for giving up social media was to create more value in my life, quit hoarding information, and appreciate the time that I spent with friends.
But then, around exactly this time last year, I had gotten back on Facebook. Sure, it was an impromptu decision- mostly because I suddenly felt this urge to break off from the normal hectic routine of life which consisted mainly of school and not talking to people. But what blows my rational mind today- how come I'm still not off this social media when I did swear not to reside there for more than 3 months.
Honestly, this is not what I used to be. The reflection on the screen right now looks like a mainstream filthy teenager who cannot get off the Internet. She's no longer the girl who used to come back home and spend hours talking about Sociology to bore her parents to death. (Sure, I no longer study Sociology now and my parents have got very clear that I should let them breath, and well, my brother wouldn't understand a thing of what I have to say.) She's not the girl who used to invent new recipes in the kitchen. She's become this overrated, conventional girl in her demeanour.
When I try to do an analysis, what I realise is that this year- things that mattered left my life. Room decoration, gardening, pillow fight with younger sibling, downloafing songs for my Grandad, Sociology, Biology, Food (I've stopped eating as such, I lost weight- more than needed!), Painting (I'm trying to get hold of it, again.), Quality Time with friends, family and myself and finally Spirituality( My growth is not an exponential one right now.)
Blogging, Cyber Interaction and Sleep have turned me into this artificial, superficial brat who is no longer 'that' enthusiastic about things and crazy as she used to be.
Well, during this one whole year- a lot, when I say 'a lot' it's "A LOT", had changed on Facebook or rather I had changed. Or perhaps both. 3 years back, advertisements, news, and communities were not so rampant- at least not the ones that could make me drool.
Right now, there are perhaps around 100+ pages,groups and communities talking on Philosophy, religion, T.V soaps, Conversations with God, Deepak Chopra, Robin Sharma, The Mind Unleashed...And I used to be so active in the comment section. Mostly, at the beginning- these are what kept me rooted there.I would share views on my ideologies on those platforms and well update statuses that I felt like putting up. And then of course, most of my school mates got back on Facebook around the same time. That's right, communication sprouted right there- and of course, new friends were introduced and friendships that I was beginning to more than revel in were created.
I was able to stay connected with some friends and family via Facebook and eventually connected with people from across the globe with similar experiences.
All of that grew in magnitude. And by the time school had resumed this January, it came to me like a flash of thunder that Tuition Classes, Classroom Updates, School Updates and School Alumni actually used Facebook as a medium to get to students. Unfortunately, the majority of my friends and peers are on Facebook and use the social media platform as a primary means of communication, thus making it difficult to eradicate the time-sucking black hole from my daily routine.
February. March. April. MUN. Erratic. Friends. Tuition Notes. Blog Posts Sharing.
May. June. July. August. Same Business. (Just add newer 'friends' and well lost of contact with older friends.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------->>>>>>
Today, Current Time: September. 15th. 3 36 am. I'm sitting in front of my laptop screen, typing. I can't sleep, I've been rolling on my bed for 5 hours now.
Current State: At a lost. Feeling pointless. No sense of direction. I don't exactly recognize myself any longer. This is not me. At least, this version of myself is nothing I've known before.
I feel like I have lost my identity. For the last 5 months, I have stopped staying in reality. (Yes, I know- I never stay in reality in any case. But what I meant is that I felt like I spent more time on Social Media- with YouTube being at No.1, Blogger No.2, Twitter No.3, Facebook No.4 and Mythologist Devdutt Pattnaik's blog No.5.)
News is that I no longer hail to the Facebook following. That's right, I have committed the ultimate social suicide. Go ahead, try and search for my name. You won't find me.
This development didn't happen overnight. In fact, it's ironic how long it took me to cut the Facebook part of my life out of my life. (The person for whom I'm mostly writing this article knows how much of a hard time I had to break the shackles off. I wish I could take your name here, but not without your permission. I don't even know if this will reach you. If it does it's either because you really wanted answers to my deceiving behaviour or that I called out to the Universe for you to land on this. I love you. No matter what. Always leaving with a smile, :) ) And although you may not see it that way, it has in fact become an integral part of your lives, as well.
It doesn't seem that bad, because hell, everyone else is doing it(being on Facebook!) and maybe it's even allowed. Yet, even though it can cause your brain to go a little fuzzy, you just can't seem to put down the joint. What's more is that My most cherished friends were there. Not that I don't meet them at school, but there are some who I don't meet at all. This chagrins me.
My relationship with Facebook became like that of a bad ex-boyfriend. I couldn't help signing in after a while, if just to "check up." I did this knowing that it wasn't going to help me to get ahead in a way that really mattered.
Before many of you disregard my sentiments, I do know that Facebook isn't all bad. Having seen all of the ways technology and social media have enriched my life in terms of talking to souls that had so much to impart to me.. I don’t think it's something we should separate ourselves from. The internet is here to stay. Facebook is here to stay.
It's content is vast. Facebook has such a huge pool of information. And that's what I enjoyed and hated most. Whilst it could get me talking with my favourite persons it also made sure that my News Feed was splattered with a little crap from people I surely had things to learn- not as in to imitate their behaviour, far from that actually. And no, I don't have Facebook friends in hundreds. 99 only but it still managed to weigh down on me. I needed a break from this virtual arena. It was become suffocating.
I had no interest in knowing who went out with whom. Who bought a new branded product? And the least, who lost his virginity to whom? This so not normal. It was turning me into this unwanted 'stalker', an addict, basically someone who should apparently 'like to know' about what's up with others. Because, believe it or not Facebook sicialises us to want to knowabout others as part of it's hidden curriculum..And there some factual proofs to that whereby Facebook managed the News Feed of randomly selected users for a whole day as part of their marketing experiments.. But shoving that aside- I mean? Really? Since when did I want to become such a douchebag? What the f*ck's wrong with you, girl? That's not who you used to be and most definitely it's not what you aspire to be.
I kept denying that that was what I was becoming for a while. Nobody realises that actually and it's creepy. You might not be realising that even. I think that I was too full of ego and self pride to realise that. I was being a hypocrite towards my self. I was lying to myself that everything's alright. Yes I was. ( And I learnt that I'm not the only one. Facebook turns you into one. It just does. Through manipulation. A carefully selected assortment of data-whether from if it from individuals or from a community, appear on your news feed- where either you 'like' or 'comment' or 'share' or 'simply look at it, grasp everything, store it in your memory'- not to mention that Mr Mark reportedly is a member of some sort of sect..)
My take was- Unless you get on Facebook for messaging purposes(which you could also do through Whatsapp or emails) what are you on Facebook for? International news, inspiring quotes.. Bollywood news. (Alternatively obtained on the sites directly) (Subscription? Email service is an option)
Jeshta proposes to ban News Feed and opt for Page Feed instead.
Yes, I'm dirty , a worthless crap and a cheap girl. I have been that. Cm'on admit it. I am. (Rushaa must me loving this, as well as Shammah. :P)
During my one year on Facebook- whilst I met some adoringly charming people- I'm sure they know who they are- I got to study this social sphere.
Facebook simply is an inherent NEED for self-validation.
"OMG you look GORGEOUS!"
"OMG you're Tiny! You're seriously disappearing on us, you're like anorexic now."
"Because nobody, nobody does it better than Naughty America."
"Nice ride! Is that the new Mercedes you were telling me about?''
Sharing:
The irony of "sharing" wasn't lost on me. Because I've spent some time thinking about this, I have concluded that the reasoning behind uploading snapshots of our lives to Facebook is to ensure others that we are not only happy -- we are very happy. Look, my boyfriend's adorable, he loves me all the time.....I'm a cook- I paint. I have a brother. I'm a social rebel. (For those who know me- That's exactly what my timeline screams.)
When did we begin to lose touch with our own realities? When we began to convince ourselves that everything is okay, as soon as we've posted that photo of us smiling wide. More importantly, how many of those people we call our friends on Facebook do we actually share a non-artificial relationship with?
Deactivate your Facebook account and see how many of them try to get in touch with you.
When we busy ourselves with pleasing others and waste our hours changing statuses and organizing albums, we lose out. Let us remember the moments we share in by really celebrating them. The pictures we take are not timeless, the memories culminated by those experiences are. Those are significant. That's who I used to be. That's not who I feel I am right now.
My friends have seen me deactivating and then activating my Facebook account a lot nowadays.. friends from afar asked me why I was doing such a thing; it was our means of communication, they said. One friend asked, "How will everyone be able to see what you're up to?!" I laughed and told her that that was the point. Others were pretty much like "How do we reach your blog posts?". Many more don't give a damn.
But fact is that I value my Self. I can't give you beautiful people the best if I lose out on my identity and my Self. How could you expect a person who doesn't love herself to love you back? I'm going through an existential dilemma, you think? Perhaps. But what I'm sure of is that this version of myself- the one Facebook concocted, I Hate. This is not me.
We are no longer in a relationship, but we are cordial. Facebook is proving to be an amicable Ex. Perhaps this piece will inspire others to "search" within themselves instead of searching within others.The grass is only as green as we allow it to be. Remember that a peaceful heart is evidence enough.
Oh, and one more thing. You may now proceed to share this all over Facebook. Thanks for signing on.
One Love. Peace. We are One.
Yours truly,
Aehr.
Three years ago, I had made the decision to give up Facebook. August 2013- I could still have reported that I'm alive and that the past two years of hiatus from Facebook have been life changing - the two most vibrant years of my existence even!
Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, and YouTube were all on my blacklist, well - sort of. My goal for giving up social media was to create more value in my life, quit hoarding information, and appreciate the time that I spent with friends.
But then, around exactly this time last year, I had gotten back on Facebook. Sure, it was an impromptu decision- mostly because I suddenly felt this urge to break off from the normal hectic routine of life which consisted mainly of school and not talking to people. But what blows my rational mind today- how come I'm still not off this social media when I did swear not to reside there for more than 3 months.
Blogging, Cyber Interaction and Sleep have turned me into this artificial, superficial brat who is no longer 'that' enthusiastic about things and crazy as she used to be.
Well, during this one whole year- a lot, when I say 'a lot' it's "A LOT", had changed on Facebook or rather I had changed. Or perhaps both. 3 years back, advertisements, news, and communities were not so rampant- at least not the ones that could make me drool.
I was able to stay connected with some friends and family via Facebook and eventually connected with people from across the globe with similar experiences.
All of that grew in magnitude. And by the time school had resumed this January, it came to me like a flash of thunder that Tuition Classes, Classroom Updates, School Updates and School Alumni actually used Facebook as a medium to get to students. Unfortunately, the majority of my friends and peers are on Facebook and use the social media platform as a primary means of communication, thus making it difficult to eradicate the time-sucking black hole from my daily routine.
February. March. April. MUN. Erratic. Friends. Tuition Notes. Blog Posts Sharing.
May. June. July. August. Same Business. (Just add newer 'friends' and well lost of contact with older friends.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------->>>>>>
Today, Current Time: September. 15th. 3 36 am. I'm sitting in front of my laptop screen, typing. I can't sleep, I've been rolling on my bed for 5 hours now.
Current State: At a lost. Feeling pointless. No sense of direction. I don't exactly recognize myself any longer. This is not me. At least, this version of myself is nothing I've known before.
I feel like I have lost my identity. For the last 5 months, I have stopped staying in reality. (Yes, I know- I never stay in reality in any case. But what I meant is that I felt like I spent more time on Social Media- with YouTube being at No.1, Blogger No.2, Twitter No.3, Facebook No.4 and Mythologist Devdutt Pattnaik's blog No.5.)
News is that I no longer hail to the Facebook following. That's right, I have committed the ultimate social suicide. Go ahead, try and search for my name. You won't find me.
This development didn't happen overnight. In fact, it's ironic how long it took me to cut the Facebook part of my life out of my life. (The person for whom I'm mostly writing this article knows how much of a hard time I had to break the shackles off. I wish I could take your name here, but not without your permission. I don't even know if this will reach you. If it does it's either because you really wanted answers to my deceiving behaviour or that I called out to the Universe for you to land on this. I love you. No matter what. Always leaving with a smile, :) ) And although you may not see it that way, it has in fact become an integral part of your lives, as well.
It doesn't seem that bad, because hell, everyone else is doing it(being on Facebook!) and maybe it's even allowed. Yet, even though it can cause your brain to go a little fuzzy, you just can't seem to put down the joint. What's more is that My most cherished friends were there. Not that I don't meet them at school, but there are some who I don't meet at all. This chagrins me.
My relationship with Facebook became like that of a bad ex-boyfriend. I couldn't help signing in after a while, if just to "check up." I did this knowing that it wasn't going to help me to get ahead in a way that really mattered.
Before many of you disregard my sentiments, I do know that Facebook isn't all bad. Having seen all of the ways technology and social media have enriched my life in terms of talking to souls that had so much to impart to me.. I don’t think it's something we should separate ourselves from. The internet is here to stay. Facebook is here to stay.
It's content is vast. Facebook has such a huge pool of information. And that's what I enjoyed and hated most. Whilst it could get me talking with my favourite persons it also made sure that my News Feed was splattered with a little crap from people I surely had things to learn- not as in to imitate their behaviour, far from that actually. And no, I don't have Facebook friends in hundreds. 99 only but it still managed to weigh down on me. I needed a break from this virtual arena. It was become suffocating.
I had no interest in knowing who went out with whom. Who bought a new branded product? And the least, who lost his virginity to whom? This so not normal. It was turning me into this unwanted 'stalker', an addict, basically someone who should apparently 'like to know' about what's up with others. Because, believe it or not Facebook sicialises us to want to knowabout others as part of it's hidden curriculum..And there some factual proofs to that whereby Facebook managed the News Feed of randomly selected users for a whole day as part of their marketing experiments.. But shoving that aside- I mean? Really? Since when did I want to become such a douchebag? What the f*ck's wrong with you, girl? That's not who you used to be and most definitely it's not what you aspire to be.
I kept denying that that was what I was becoming for a while. Nobody realises that actually and it's creepy. You might not be realising that even. I think that I was too full of ego and self pride to realise that. I was being a hypocrite towards my self. I was lying to myself that everything's alright. Yes I was. ( And I learnt that I'm not the only one. Facebook turns you into one. It just does. Through manipulation. A carefully selected assortment of data-whether from if it from individuals or from a community, appear on your news feed- where either you 'like' or 'comment' or 'share' or 'simply look at it, grasp everything, store it in your memory'- not to mention that Mr Mark reportedly is a member of some sort of sect..)
My take was- Unless you get on Facebook for messaging purposes(which you could also do through Whatsapp or emails) what are you on Facebook for? International news, inspiring quotes.. Bollywood news. (Alternatively obtained on the sites directly) (Subscription? Email service is an option)
Jeshta proposes to ban News Feed and opt for Page Feed instead.
Yes, I'm dirty , a worthless crap and a cheap girl. I have been that. Cm'on admit it. I am. (Rushaa must me loving this, as well as Shammah. :P)
During my one year on Facebook- whilst I met some adoringly charming people- I'm sure they know who they are- I got to study this social sphere.
Facebook simply is an inherent NEED for self-validation.
"OMG you look GORGEOUS!"
"OMG you're Tiny! You're seriously disappearing on us, you're like anorexic now."
"Because nobody, nobody does it better than Naughty America."
"Nice ride! Is that the new Mercedes you were telling me about?''
Sharing:
The irony of "sharing" wasn't lost on me. Because I've spent some time thinking about this, I have concluded that the reasoning behind uploading snapshots of our lives to Facebook is to ensure others that we are not only happy -- we are very happy. Look, my boyfriend's adorable, he loves me all the time.....I'm a cook- I paint. I have a brother. I'm a social rebel. (For those who know me- That's exactly what my timeline screams.)
When did we begin to lose touch with our own realities? When we began to convince ourselves that everything is okay, as soon as we've posted that photo of us smiling wide. More importantly, how many of those people we call our friends on Facebook do we actually share a non-artificial relationship with?
Deactivate your Facebook account and see how many of them try to get in touch with you.
When we busy ourselves with pleasing others and waste our hours changing statuses and organizing albums, we lose out. Let us remember the moments we share in by really celebrating them. The pictures we take are not timeless, the memories culminated by those experiences are. Those are significant. That's who I used to be. That's not who I feel I am right now.
My friends have seen me deactivating and then activating my Facebook account a lot nowadays.. friends from afar asked me why I was doing such a thing; it was our means of communication, they said. One friend asked, "How will everyone be able to see what you're up to?!" I laughed and told her that that was the point. Others were pretty much like "How do we reach your blog posts?". Many more don't give a damn.
But fact is that I value my Self. I can't give you beautiful people the best if I lose out on my identity and my Self. How could you expect a person who doesn't love herself to love you back? I'm going through an existential dilemma, you think? Perhaps. But what I'm sure of is that this version of myself- the one Facebook concocted, I Hate. This is not me.
We are no longer in a relationship, but we are cordial. Facebook is proving to be an amicable Ex. Perhaps this piece will inspire others to "search" within themselves instead of searching within others.The grass is only as green as we allow it to be. Remember that a peaceful heart is evidence enough.
Oh, and one more thing. You may now proceed to share this all over Facebook. Thanks for signing on.
One Love. Peace. We are One.
Yours truly,
Aehr.