This morning, I overheard my aunt
and our house maid having their daily morning chat.
I had just woken up and had tooth
paste froth in my mouth as my aunt eventually called me and pronounced in a
high pitch voice how some neighbors had invited over 100 people during the
weekend to celebrate their daughter's coming of age.
In the kitchen, both women
sounded quite surprised by this occurrence and although they didn't drag the
talk too much, one of them didn't stop herself from commenting: "Bizin fer
tou dimune conner quand tifi inn vinn grande fille?" (Why do they have to let everyone know that their daughter is now a Big Girl?)
I pulled my tooth brush from my
mouth and tried to articulate: "Zot ban Tamils?" (They are Tamilians?) My aunt acquiesced.
Celebrating a woman's first menstruation is followed in several
cultures. And it definitely not unique to South India, from where the ancestors of the Tamil people of Mauritius come from. The Dagara community in West Africa
even holds an annual event to celebrate girls who have had cycles for twelve
months. Japanese families celebrate with gifts. Native communities in America
and Australia also celebrate by dressing up the girl and holding ceremonies.
Nepal has a culture of celebrating a woman's first cycle.
I remember my coming rituals too. I come from a South Indian ethnicity too but I didn't have such an elaborate celebration of my transition into womanhood. Mine was a really simple thing, my paternal grandmother congratulated me, my closest aunt congratulated my Mom. I took a turmeric bath privately on my own and was gifted my first bra and packet of sanitary pad. No big drama one might say. Coming from a blaspheme background no drama was needed.
However, I remained intrigued when one of my younger cousins did have an elaborate prayer held in her honor when she struck puberty.
As a 15 year old one, I could not come to terms with the spiritual depth of the rituals and my half-atheist self simply saw it as an outrage: Why the hell do you want to announce to the entire village that your girl is now fertile for child bearing?
And then, I was after all living in a larger milieu, a society that usually simply prefers to veil such things as menstruation. North India
practice seclusion and have several restrictions when it comes to menstruating women. In orthodox or Brahmin Hindu families, menstruating women are asked to stay away from domestic activities for a period of 4 days, and even physical intimacy is prohibited. In very conservative Brahmin households, women have a separate room to stay in, separate plates and cutlery, and do not enter the kitchen or any sacred section of the house. Most Christian denominations do not follow any specific rituals or rules related to menstruation.
But before we go to 'judge' them now, have a look at our post-modernist culture. For goodness sake, my phone's auto-correct that apparently rules out words of abuse and completes words magically refuses to suggest the word 'menses' or 'menstruation' and forces you to write the complete word as though it was not something we are supposed to talk about.
However, while some cultures paint the red discharge as a negative film, other cultures ironically 'empower' it. In Sumba, women keep their cycles secret, which makes men see them as deceitful. Women from Sumba believe that because of their secrecy, they will always have control of the men. “Men will never know how much we really can do to control these things. We have all kinds of secrets, and they should always believe that we can control even more than we really can”
But today I am 19 and a half and there were certain things I wanted to say there in the kitchen. I usually would have just enlightened them straight away and gotten rid of their misinterpretations, but I was slightly lazy.
I moved off from the kitchen and continued to dawdled over my morning rituals.
The night I went to the Kovil, although we are a pretty open-minded family, as my Dad asked me why a friend of mine could not make it to an upcoming future school event although their fasting would be over, I answered: "Normalement ena tifis remplace ban jours caremes acoz zot regles." Surprisingly I got a silence, which was quite unexpected.
Kovils are usually referred to as Draupadi Ammen or Mariammen which both represent feminine power. As I processed that thought for a fraction of a second though, I could not stop myself from remembering the magnificent women that Draupadi was to have still held her eyes up in the court full of men as she debated Dharma standing in her menstrual blood smeared clothing.
South Indian people tend to view menstruation, especially first menstruation, as a positive aspect of a girl's life. In South India, girls who experience their menstrual period for the first time are given presents and celebrations to mark this special occasion.
In ancient times, celebrating the first menstrual cycle in the ancient society was a way to publicize the fact that one's daughter is ready for marriage. Relatives can gauge the financial status of the family by looking at how pompous the celebration is. In the times of kings and queens, such a celebration may serve as a guidance for young men to decide whether or not to compete in any potential Swayamvar contest.
It was also important an event to build confidence: by making a girl the focal point of a celebration and showering her with so much attention, the girl is made to feel like a princess. She receives the confidence to ask questions to others- especially relating to changes in her body, what to expect, how to handle certain problems, etc.
In those rituals came an acceptance of her transition and the teaching of loving one's body as well as making her realise that others respect her still.
Perhaps, the grand announcement hold no big a significance today as our societal contexts have greatly changed. However, the psychological and larger social inspirations the rituals brought along are still valuable.
The beginning of menstrual cycle denotes her transition into womanhood and motherhood eventually.Since being a mother is considered heavenly , or some kind of a boon or one of the highest state of love. This is why we celebrate puberty.
Many cultures believe a woman holds heightened wisdom and healing power during this period. She is considered beneficial and the blood itself sacred. I have read about tribes in Africa that use the blood for medicinal purposes.
The traditional Islamic interpretation of the Qur'an forbids intercourse, but not physical intimacy, during a woman's menstrual period. Judaism does likewise. During menstrual periods, women are excused from performing prayers and fasting. In the Qur'an it is considered a "harm" or a nuisance, and women should not be pestered during this time. Respect for women on their period is valued.
In Sikhism, the menstrual cycle is not considered a pollutant. Certainly, it can have a physical and physiological effect on the woman. Nonetheless, this is not considered a hindrance to her wanting to pray or accomplish her religious duties fully. The Guru makes it very clear that the menstrual cycle is a God given process. The blood of a woman is required for the creation of any human being.
‘By coming together of mother and father are we created, By union of the mother's blood and the father's semen is the body made. To the Lord is the creature devoted, when hanging head downwards in the womb; He whom he contemplates, for him provides.’ (Guru Granth Sahib Ji, p. 1013).
Fun Fact
The word "menstruation" is etymologically related to
"moon". The terms "menstruation" and "menses" are
derived from the Latin mensis (month),
which in turn relates to the Greek mene (moon) and to the
roots of the English words month and moon.
To many, such cultural associations appear persuasive in view of
the fact that in humans, the menstrual cycle quite closely approximates the
moon’s 29.5-day synodic cycle.
Until Next Time,
Bleed happily. (:
Until Next Time,
Bleed happily. (: