He said he wrote down some random words of wisdom from time to time every night he couldn't sleep. He added he had specifically done so with me in mind.
As I read his words, it was a mixture of different emotions. I would laugh, then smile, then laugh again, then have tears brimming in my eyes, then laugh again. At times I would simply stare at one specific word and try to understand the depth of it.
Tata would have most probably never jotted down those lines. I had personally asked him that he ought to write something, write things so that he doesn't let his emotions, feelings, experiences, wisdom, knowledge and LIFE fade away into nothingness. My passion for writing takes its roots from this very quest: to be able to capture a moment's emotions and vibrancy so that I can either reflect on them later, or study the graph of my growth as a soul. Also I had much to share, to offer, to give to this beautiful world that surrounds me.
And I know someone who is 6 times my age has more than what I have to give. And I couldn't let that go to waste. And mostly I wanted him to transmit his essence of life to us. I didn't want that to be washed away.
We barely have time today to bond, as grandchild and grandad and I can not bear letting my grandad's wisdom just go away. I needed him. I needed to hear his words. Not need, but more like.. Well, my grandad is a very important part of my life, I stayed at his place and him together with my grandma nursed me up till I became a toddler, perhaps a bit beyond that point even. So, naturally, the instinctive bond is there.
But my grandad has been more than just my up-bringer. He has somehow been the one constantly being encouraging when it came to my school work. And I somehow used to be afraid of him because of that, more out of a fear to disappoint him. He's a great man. He came from an extremely poor family. You can imagine, back in the years 1940s, indentured labourers who came to Mauritius lived on sugar estates under pretty pathetic conditions. I remember my grandma retelling how shocked she was when she married my grandad and joined their family. They barely had clothes to wear, and their eating patterns were nothing sane. My grandad was the only one in the family who managed to go to school, and I don't forget how he describes walking for miles barefooted to make it to classes every morning, through the sugarcane fields. He eventually grew up, working hard, hard enough to make him the man he is today. Someone who had been able to climb up the social ladder, fending for his family in ways that I consider pretty luxurious.
Somewhere down the line, he's a constant reminder of how education is important and that I cannot let his lifelong struggles go to water by not being someone he would be more than just proud of. Hence the motivation. I'm not even scared of my dad when it comes to educational performance, but my Tata, he's a strict man, disciplined and strong-headed man. And I'm sincerely grateful for that.
As I had previously stepped into my puberty phase, our relationship had become quite strained, but I love the way it is today. Perhaps it's because I'm somehow big enough today for him to confide into me. Perhaps because I'm confident enough today to ask for things from my elders. Strong enough to challenge them to bring forth their emotions in our conversations. :)
I made my Dad even promise that he would write to me one day. But I know there's a long time to go for this one. Tata has definitely more time and I influence him more easily than my Dad. And trust me I do influence my Dad to a large extent in his decision-taking, now imagine how much I can have my Tata do things as I wish. Afterall, who initiated him to technology with all the other grandchildren? Who downloaded all his Kishore Kumar songs? Who massages his feet from time to time? Who-
He did so much more for all us though in return.
And for that I'm honestly grateful.
I would write about it one day. Soon enough.
About everyone in my life. This I know I will. When? It's just a matter of time!
What I do know right now though is that, I'll get his diary published one day. The words in there should be read before any individual makes a decision in life. I felt they were that powerful and magnificent. :))
Until next time, much love.
Iam Aehr