Good morning people,
It's the 2nd of October 2014 and by the time you read this we should have moved to the other side of October. I have a General Paper essay to write and here I am sitting down and writing a blog post instead. And the worst thing is that I'm not feeling an ounce of guilt about it.
I have been meaning to write about this for a while now. I'll start off by writing to you portions of an essay I wrote last year after something occurred and abashed me terribly. I was not sure if I was capable of during at then lost if someone, I mean I've been trying to decipher death in such a way that it appears as the most beautiful thing to be blessed with. And today I understand it is. But back then, I gave in.
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''The school atmosphere became more tensed as the crowd gathered. ''This cannot be happening! No! No! This cannot b...,'' she murmured bitterly, dry lips quivering as tears welled up in her eyes. Everybody stared at her. Around us, it was a pin-drop silence that loomed on. Shhs. Sssh. Shhh.
And suddenly it was broken by a mournful cry. The newcomers looked at each other confused. They could not feign the faintest acknowledgement that the father of a very close friend had committed the ultimate.. The sorrow and shock seemed to have diminished everyone physically. To all the people that this could have happened to, did fate have to inflict it upon her only? The bells pealed through the sobs and the students shuffled back to class. What was to happen to our bubbly, eccentric and childish her, nobody could tell.
I sauntered gloomily out of the class following the group of friends. I was feeling terribly sad and somehow angry. She had been talking about here father the day before only. I remember how she shrieked with excitement as she announced how her father told her that she was becoming a responsible young lady now. True, she had always shared a very uncomplicated relationship with her father. She really was the apple of his eyes and she loved him unconditionally. Unlike other teenagers, she never found any shame in displaying her affection for her father. I tried to replay all those instances she talked about her father. I could not help notice the how her eyes would light up with pride. None of us had ever met her father, but she made him feel so alive that we felt as if we knew him for ages.
I was particularly much attached to her. I have always been like this overbearing, overprotective big sister to her so much that we used to be truly inseparable friends. I would get chided for her silly pranks but I never once minded it for I just had this filial love for her. People make friends for various reasons, and so have I. But she was an exception to that. I had nothing to gain in being friends with her and perhaps that's why I have always shared an amazing friendship with her.
We waited forlornly outside until we were invited in. My heart was in my mouth and the dread I felt was palpable when I saw the deceased's body lying on the floor covered with white sheets. Sitting besides him was his widow who clutched to his collar, shaking him and pleading him to come back. Their wedding had been a love marriage, a rare thing for their times of youth. She buried her face in his chest and sobbed quietly unable to hold in the great tide of emotions. My friend, kneeling on the other side, stared at her father. She was disconsolate and without hope. Her eyes were puffy with a trace of wetness around the lids. I walked up to her and I embraced her. She didn't respond and after a while, tears started streaming down here rosy cheeks. ''He's left me. He's left us! Why did he do that? How dare he leave us alone?'' The people who had come to share their sorrow stared glumly ahead. Grandma neared us, asking me to usher here to her room. Kash and the others followed and tried to console the already shattered soul. We all stayed for quite a long time in the evening. The nights grew lonely the whole week that came and the mother and daughter had a very time to overcome the happenings.
Today, as I sit down and try to ponder over those unbelievable and indigestible events, I wonder if the situation could have been less hard to endure had it been a normal death. Perhaps not- at least not for me. The unanswered questions and unrevealed mysteries shall forever remain. They would even burn in one's head from time to time.
For my friend, all I know is that one sight would never fall in oblivion. Waking up on the morning to the image of the person who meant the world to you, suspended by a rope to the ceiling fan..''
16-year-old. An age that pretty much changed so much for many of us. There's so much which have been happening around. It's been as if it is during this period of time that the stark realities of life come rushing in.
2 weeks after that incident, another friend's Dad died in a car accident.
3 months ago, a friends big brother died.
Yesterday afternoon, a close friend's Dad died after staying in a coma for a whole week.
Losses have been huge, but I have seen them living, again. Despite the odds and hurdles.
I've known orphaned friends back in primary school as well.
I feel so much for my friends. Respect, compassion and love.
Sympathy, regret, sadness.. not deep or ethical enough feelings, add pity to the list.
I just wanted to point out through this article, that whilst many of us are head bent in acing those test marks, getting into dalliances or enjoying the comfort of life. Many are having the opportunity to grow more mature through experiences. They are being he support of their family, emotionally. They are living life, again.
I'm not saying that I never knew such things happen. But while most people know such things happen,
These friends have inspired me into believing that they happen for the best and in the better.
I have seen their strong mother's and their heart and stamina of gold.
I have seen their will power to achieve something and to help their families out.
I have seen them fighting the prejudices of a society that might soon afterwards stigmatize them. I have known they shove aside the pressure faced by kind to change the way they are.
And be more serious.
But they never changed much of their being, and in that was their greatness and purity of heart reckoned.
So much has happened during the teenage years. No, not the hormonal changes. Not the mood swings. Not the breakups. Not the generalized themes of adolescence.
I have had my friend nonchalantly announce to me about her patents divorce at the she of 14 whilst we wrote walking up to the biology lab.
I have known a friend whose mom died of cancer when he was 13.
I have had yet another friend who had to stay away from her parents for they work abroad since she's only been a child. I can feel her desire to have them next to her for a mere cuddle.
I have known a closer friend break down completely when his mom met with a car accident and was fighting death for 1 week in the hospital and despite his dad being a medic, he had fumble in keeping hope.
I have known myself, panicking each time my mom gets her asthma problem and I remember that dreaded evening where she no more felt her body and needed to be ferried to the hospital.
I have known yet other friends trying to socialise with their step family with much difficulty.
I have known friends having weekly rendezvous at the psychologist.
And that's where I came to ponder,
Whilst somewhere down the line we thought teenagers only visit dermatologists or beauty saloons, many of us- at least my friends, are already delving into the world of grown ups.
Responsible, emoting and sensible ones.
I have nothing more to say.
Be well, take care.
Love yourself.
Love your family,
God Bless.