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Why men (women) refuse to get married?



At the beginning of 2012, only half of the adult American population were married and 28% of them had never tied the knot. Rewinding two years from then, 40.8% of all births were outside marriage in the American land solely. Marriage rates are plummeting as a worldwide reverberation with the median age for people to get married shifting to 28 today as compared to the 21 of the 1960s. Contrary to popular beliefs, a mere 25% of unmarried young adults in the United States cohabit as per Pew Research analysis of Current Population Survey. Brandishing a giant placard of ‘No’ to marriage has hit record numbers in this century and indicate the blatant refusal among men and women to get married.

While the late 1900s saw the metamorphosis of marriage from an economic deal to one based on romance, the early 21st century is now depicting a cycle reversal. As at now, in terms of lifestyle, singlehood is of better quality. After all, bachelors are no longer eyed dubiously during selection on the job market as compared to the times where being a model of the ‘stable family’ person pressed them down for climbing up the work hierarchy. On the contrary, today, the employee who offers mobility globally is preferred as conflicting family responsibilities scrounge the noses of employers up. One could say that greater career prospects are tantamount to cutting off the wedding bells. Or for the least that we could say, according to research conducted by famous economic magazines, retarding the walk down the aisle allow young women to earn almost the same wage as their male counterparts. The Economist magazine claims that single women are buying houses at a faster pace than single men, marking a giant step in autonomous financial security-realisation. In any case, one person can easily afford a studio apartment whereas a bigger family would require a larger space. As such, more family members are a big economic liability, especially with the extension of the number of years a child stays under the parental roof in an ever-growing consumer society. Bringing up a child requires a tremendous sense of responsibility, of commitment and care many choose not to shoulder or are not ready to face. In any case, marriage by itself in no way ameliorates economic prosperity, but a dual income does.

On another note, the social panache exuded by marriage has now faded and that for various reasons. Presently, marriage is less of a religious obligation as postmodern societies have been turning their eyes to the halo of secularisation. Significantly, from the feminist perspective, marriage strips women of fulfilling their individual liberty. The stark truth is that women are still today looked up to perform the household chores and look after the children. Marriage can be a cockpit of tension and a platform for domestic abuse. Rape within marriage is still not recognised from a legal point of view in some of the countries of Asia and Africa. In short, feminists believe that marriage serves the purpose of men solely and in no way benefits women. In the same fashion, masculinists heavily argue that Family Courts across the world still stupendously give alimony and child custody to women and mothers. As a matter of fact, singlehood has been made easier for men with dating sites and premarital sex being less frowned upon. Identically, single mothers are also less blamed for society’s ills as statistics, generally in the United Kingdom, have proved across the years that deviance by children has nothing to do with the number of parents but rather on the type of parenting. Thus, single parenthood is no longer as stigmatised as it used to be in the past. Additionally, some sociologists argue that only a few decades went into demoting men to the lower ranks of the family, discouraging young men to get married. Mass media broadcast the newly emerged stereotypical idea of the idiotic husband and his smarter wife. Furthermore, the inflamed scab of divorce rates is only motivating upcoming generations to refrain from entering a marriage. The costs of divorce also discourage several to stay off the wedding line. Besides, marriage in now nothing but only a question of choice. Thus, fewer people are exchanging vows and concentrate more on more accomplishing relationships.

Societal evolution alongside individualism has devalued marriage in general. As individualism follows globalisation, there are attempts to marry cross-culturally, some families demonstrate opposition and hence a minority of couples stay unmarried. Together with the sexual availability of people in the form of free sex and the end of an era of submissive wives, marriage has greatly been devalued. Interestingly, marriage is only, and unfortunately, defined as the lifelong union of two members of the opposite sexes. Liberalism and individualism have both transcended the very foundation of marriage as LGBT members, poly-relationship supporters among others have gone to interpret relationships differently. Besides, the new generations venerate their freedom above anything else. Marriage is, notably, often termed as a process that steals away one’s space, social circle and peace of mind. Instead, many prefer to cohabit ignoring that actually married couples have more economic and legal benefits in a governmental framework over domestic partners. Despite everything, marriage is seen as demanding in terms of time and energy investment and most people do not feel confident about being sources of those.
Therefore, it dawns that young men and women are more than ever being practical about their social, mental and physical well-being by fraying the knot. Perceived as an economically-draining, socially-reeking unpopular conventionalism and a murderer of much star-pelleted individualism, marriage is looked down upon by this age group. Whether they are right or wrong in their reasons is a matter of context and time. What remains, though, this refusal’s impact to be looked forward to across the various spheres that constitute our interactive world.


Number of Words: 985

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