Deserving

Hello everyone! So it's been a while since I last had a direct interaction with you people and I just thought that it was about time. I ended my 3 months internship today and I am now headed to new activities. This is basically a topic I was trying to write about since a long time now but never found the correct way to place it. I think I have the correct way today, so there we go!~

________________________________________

“People don't always get what they deserve in this world." 

"You deserve to be happy."

"You deserve better"

We often have some of my teachers and mentors nudging me that we deserved better. We often have friends telling us at the end of a break up that we deserved better anyway. We often have our loved ones that we deserve better anyway when we lose an opportunity.

So often we look at our lives, at our Selves, and – disappointed – we think or say…”I deserve better”. But is it true? The easy answer is “yes”.

The compassionate answer is “yes”.

And, in a way, those are right.  Because our hearts – our shared humanity – tells us that every person is valuable, every person deserving of something, every person a person, a human being – someone with intrinsic worth and dignity.

I think that the truth is – generally, mostly – we all receive in life what we are truly owed in life, and no more. We all get what is just and due on account of the work we put in, and Selves we become.

We all get what we deserve.

And usually not more.

Not, though, in the sense you might think it.  Not in the “I was diagnosed with an illness and I didn’t deserve that” kind-of-way, or the “I was beaten, robbed, and hurt and I didn’t deserve that” kind-of-way either.

Of course not.

The thing is that life is random, and the world can be unfair.  Bad things happen to good people, and some good things happen to bad people. Those things happen. As they always will – without explanation, notice, or reason. But so often, when life goes as we haven’t planned it, or as we wouldn’t wish it, we’re told or tell ourselves that we “deserve better”; that what we’ve done in life thus far should be enough for what we wanted in life all along; that what we have is less than what we’re due; that when we’re pissed, and down, and hopeless, we have better things to look forward to because we are we, and we“deserve better”.

Or so it essentially means.

But, no.

Success isn’t given.  Money isn’t given.  Possessions aren’t given.

Confidence isn’t given.  Strength isn’t given.  Happiness isn’t given.

Life, itself, isn’t given.

It’s earned.

There is nothing in life, then, we deserve on account of simply being; nothing we deserve as some kind of human right or inalienable right.  There is nothing we are owed because we think so or are told so.

We deserve all we get because of the somethings we’ve done to earn it – because of the blood, sweat, and tears we’ve put into becoming the person who actually deserves that success or that comfort.

So it is in reality – minus society’s ideals of morality or fairness.

Basically, for everyone there exists a certain life they deserve according to the person they are and have become; a certain life that is justly and rightly theirs on account of the work they’ve done, the time they’ve put in, the strengths they have within them – whether born with, fought for, or painstakingly earned, bit by bit.

There exists a level of success and happiness possible for them with the knowledge they have, and experiences they’ve lived, and confidence and belief in themselves they hold within.

And like levels in a video game, our entitlement depends upon the battles we’ve won, the obstacles we’ve overcome, the challenges we’ve defeated; the confidence we have, the strength that’s ours, the will and desire we show to earn what’s not yet ours, and be who we are not yet.

To have what we deserve, and deserve what we’ve received.

And though it may not always prove true, I think it’s just best to view our lives – all the world, really – like this, from this point of view.

That we forget the idea that those who have more or get more, only do so because of what they were born with or given; only successful because of the education that’s theirs, or the advantages they were afforded, or the opportunities that were open to them.

That we “deserve” what they have – though we haven’t lived the lives that they’ve lived; though we have no idea of the effort they’ve given, or the work they’ve put in.

Maybe that is the case, though, of course.

Maybe they’re spoiled.  Maybe they’re simply lucky to be themselves. Maybe they’re undeserving.

But so are you, as you are now, very likely.

So are you, as the Self you are now.

As am I, as well, and everyone who remains far from their dreams; far from the Selves they desire, and the lives they imagine.

Cause if we were truly deserving of it – here and now – we’d have it.

And if we had earned it, we’d get it – surely, in time.

No one’s earned what they haven’t received.

Everyone gets their just due.  And those with more, are those who’ve earned more.

And to be that person – to want more, and get more – we have to do more.  We have to become that person that’s earned it, that deserves it.  We have to be better.

We all do.

Because all we earn in life isn’t simply the product of what we’ve done to earn that success specifically, but of who we became to earn that success at all; of the person we became that made those successes possible.

And until that day – until that day we’ve done all we can, and done all we need – we don’t deserve anything more.

That is, until we’re someone who deserves something…

Does Anyone Deserve Anything?

The question that helps us all most is what do we need, not what do we deserve.

At the end of the day, the idea that we are entitled, that we deserve what we get, that we deserve even more than what we have already has a horrible impact on our ability to be grateful and thankful for what we have been given. There is no way anyone in the developed world can claim to deserve the life he has and that those in the developing world deserve the kind of life they have. All we can do is say a thank you, to be humbled by the immense blessings we have been given, that we did not earn, and to enjoy what we have without the constant unpleasantness of thinking that we have been cheated or denied something we were supposed to be given. Just because we are alive does not mean we deserve anything. Lots of people in this country have been blessed by gifts, by opportunities, by help from others, by luck, by circumstances, and by timing. There is little place for this "deserve" attitude, and a much large place for "thank you, thank you thank you."