[Most of the things I'll be talking about are probably going to be indescribable, no matter how hard I'll try.]
It starts with the mornings. There are hardly any hazy ones now. It always feels like I can get something done during the day (of course if boredom doesn't take over). At least, I now have more than one reason to do everything. This is true; that reason is everywhere, in everything. Surely not a sign of obsession, just motivation. But anyways, I don't think obsession is that bad. It drives me to get things done. I don't care about the rest!
At times, when I get up, I have no control on my brain activities whatsoever. It isn't diverted in the wrong way, though. Just can't be described. I am flying "among the clouds", wings spread large because when you have wings, you have to learn how to use them.Girlfriends, I sense you are laughing right now, but that's how it is. What I see is that the odds have been on our side and I am thankful. Because for those who know the story from the start, THEY CLEARLY HAVE BEEN! At some point, happiness fills every void in my whole body. It's so good that there is not space for tears and they burst out. I can't help it most of the time. Again, it doesn't matter since it isn't in a negative way. I just try hard not to feel messed up then because I am not.
Every time we went out, the TFIOS or YJHD or whatever magic there exists was there. I could feel it. It couldn't be something else. It had to be this! Honestly, I'm proud since I successfully didn't ruin anything. It might just have gone better each time! On one of the occasions, I was either roasted like a delicious chicken breast or melted down like chocolate. I really don't know how to explain it. At that moment, I never have felt any safer or better. Nothing could have been more comforting. It sent a message that brighter days are coming and that this is just the trailer of how rosy they are going to be. (Roses have thorns, right?) To sum it up, I knew it was one of the best things which might have happened to me after the person himself.
Match days and weekends have been good for me. But can I describe them as good now? Well, I just cannot. Because they are more than just good. It suddenly was amplified. No one is here to judge if this is right or wrong, but having nasty and mischievous comments coming my way during the matches have turned into one of the best things about the matches themselves!
It starts with the mornings. There are hardly any hazy ones now. It always feels like I can get something done during the day (of course if boredom doesn't take over). At least, I now have more than one reason to do everything. This is true; that reason is everywhere, in everything. Surely not a sign of obsession, just motivation. But anyways, I don't think obsession is that bad. It drives me to get things done. I don't care about the rest!
At times, when I get up, I have no control on my brain activities whatsoever. It isn't diverted in the wrong way, though. Just can't be described. I am flying "among the clouds", wings spread large because when you have wings, you have to learn how to use them.
Every time we went out, the TFIOS or YJHD or whatever magic there exists was there. I could feel it. It couldn't be something else. It had to be this! Honestly, I'm proud since I successfully didn't ruin anything. It might just have gone better each time! On one of the occasions, I was either roasted like a delicious chicken breast or melted down like chocolate. I really don't know how to explain it. At that moment, I never have felt any safer or better. Nothing could have been more comforting. It sent a message that brighter days are coming and that this is just the trailer of how rosy they are going to be. (Roses have thorns, right?) To sum it up, I knew it was one of the best things which might have happened to me after the person himself.
| John Green, Look For Alaska (sorry, it originally comes with a "she") |
Recently, things were expected from me. I was made to believe that I could actually prove to myself how good I was. Nothing can beat the way I gathered confidence. That "All The Best" message merely blew up my mind and soul and created such a determination in me that I made it to my goal. Knowing that I have an anchor, something which makes me want to stay, is the primary reason why I'm confident. It will take a lot to pull that down.
Whatever happened was never sought. I never saw myself in such a position until it happened. It happened for some reason, good ones. I am not letting go of this whole thing for anything in the world, not even a penny.
I might have just found my Augustus Waters to Hazel Grace, Pudge to Alaska Young, Rory to Amy Pond, Sherlock to Irene Adler or even Bunny to Naina, as it's said!
Whatever happened was never sought. I never saw myself in such a position until it happened. It happened for some reason, good ones. I am not letting go of this whole thing for anything in the world, not even a penny.
I might have just found my Augustus Waters to Hazel Grace, Pudge to Alaska Young, Rory to Amy Pond, Sherlock to Irene Adler or even Bunny to Naina, as it's said!