My Perfect Guy

Secretly hoping that we don't die as old unmarried hags with cats in our manor! ;)

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My cousin ( +Jessy Islander ) and I used to play this game called The Perfect Boy Game.

We would both describe our ideal boyfriend in painstaking detail, assigning him characteristics ranging everywhere from physical attributes (What color were his eyes and hair? How tall was he? Was he chiseled or a little chubby?) to personality traits (Was he emotional or reserved? Was he super-confident at a party and super-vulnerable with you? Was he messy or a neat freak?) and interests (Did he play a sport or an instrument? Did he like popular music? Was he obsessed with movies? Would you care if he smokes recreationally?) Should he ressemble Ranveer Singh?(Ok, this last one's for +Priya Bhirgoo  :P.

Even if it all started off during casual conversations at the beach, it was only last year that our Whatsapp chat box became littered with such stuff. And that got me to pause and reflect.

It was our favorite game, a therapeutic exercise during the somber evenings when it felt like there were zero prospects for either of us.


Something about meticulously crafting the perfect man made us feel both hopeful and discouraged: hopeful that maybe, just maybe, we’d find someone who matched our criteria, and discouraged that such a “someone” may not actually exist anywhere, ever. It was a twisted kind of masochism, but we loved it.

As I grew up, I found that the specifications I created through countless rounds of our little game were never true about any of the guys I liked in real life. Hence succumbing into some prolonged depression, I escaped into my imaginary world where I could happily and ephemerally contemplate on ideas, hence came Abhi.So, I guess if we continued to have this particular line of thought, we would serious have ended like:

Or perhaps, still secretly hoping that we meet him:

:P 

Still, I think that when it comes to finding romance, the best way to handle having a type is just to stop having one in the first place.

This would be a No, no! :)

Getting into "He is of my type, the other one is not!" are merely preconceived preferences, because to be honest, types are limiting. Let’s be honest, some people are kind of messy, some people can’t play a sport to save their lives, and some people just really like stupid movies — and that’s OK. None of this means these people don’t deserve love.

I mean, would it really suck that badly to date someone wholoves Tushar Kapoor if he or she is truly a great person otherwise? Probably not.

Perhaps you will see the relaxing nature of such mediocre/stupid soaps and join your girlfriend in watching them, which will help you get in touch with your emotional side a bit more.

Perhaps, then, your sports-hating girlfriend will take an interest in watching football with you on Sundays, and perhaps she’ll even check out that band you love!

It all depends on your perspective on differences. If you treat them like nuisances, your relationship won’t work because you’ll probably be spending all of your time judging your partner for his or her choices.

If, however, you treat the differences like learning experiences, you could have an enriching, mutually beneficial relationship in which you both use each other to learn new things and acquire new tastes.

There are definitely some acceptable differences that can cause some harm- but that is mainly because society adds fuel to a fire it created itself, for e.g. differing religious preferences, sexism, racism or ageism.

The point is that you should not have an extensive list of "MY IDEAL BOYFRIEND" to arbitrarily construct some future partner. Your preferences won’t be relevant to who you actually end up with anyway.

Adhering to a “type” closes you off to so many wonderful people with whom you could possibly have a forever. +Jeshta Gungaram  YKY! ;)