If You Don’t Want Your Heart Broken, Act Like You Don’t Have One

Hello everyone, I know that it's been a while since I last posted and I'm seriously sorry about that. Exams have been rocking our weeks lately and it was difficult to connect to you. It's been long and my hands have been itching to write so many things I have been conjuring up in my mind!

Hope you like this one. I've spent an entire day to make it up to you. ;)

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This has been my life's motto some 4 years back. When I queried some of friends about their feelings about this quote, this is what I got:

My friend Rushaa describes this as the defense mechanism. "Because they pretend not to care but deep inside they do care. So acting like you don't care is not worthwhile as you are not only acting yourself in the process but you are also hurting the other one. But some people have such a huge ego that they prefer to act heartless. But in reality, they do not want to be vulnerable. So for her, it depends with whom you act heartless. It depends if you are manipulative. And then, you are not affected by everyone, but rather by a handful."

Another friend, Hema believes that when you act like you have one, it makes thing better because you don't get hurt.

14 year old, Nedhista thinks that it's not good to act like you don't have one.

It's not good to be cold towards people. One ought always be kind-hearted and warm-hearted even to the person who hurt you.

Shammah: Christian Grey says ''I don't have a heart. I think that it's stupid because you still have a heart despite the fact you act otherwise.

Toohina is not easily hurt. And she forgets and forgives easily. She sleeps over it. She doesn't even consider what attitude she ought carry towards  them.

To be honest ever since I was born I never believed that it was possible to love without feeling pain. Because for the least I know, this is what doses of watching Bollywood movies and dwelling in the Shakespear-ian world gave me. 

And let's admit it, most lovers do bear some extent of pain, if not hurt. Not because love is pain, but because love is apparently and reportedly always accompanied by pain. Actually, historical facts are forcing me to go as far as to say that love is necessarily preceded or concluded by pain. 

A typical excerpt from the diary of a stereotypical lover would probably sound like- ''The pain isn’t a result of her trying to hurt me, but because her actions, her words or the situations she found herself in that I witnessed made me feel hurt, I had to accept that I deeply cared about her. We know we are in love when the other person can hurt us without trying.''

People always say you know you’re in love when a person makes you happier than you thought you could possibly be – and I believe that to be true. However, being in love and realizing that you’ve just fallen in love are two different things.

Accepting that you are in love is usually the most difficult part. Unless, of course, you’re one of those individuals who “falls in love” biweekly.(+Priya YKY :P) But those sorts of people don’t count because they don’t understand what love is.

For the rest of us who fall in love rarely – no more than a handful of times in our lifetimes – accepting that we are in love can be difficult.

It’s much easier the first time around, but the second, third or fourth time get much harder. In fact, it gets more difficult to accept you’ve fallen in love each consecutive instance. Why? Because it almost definitely didn’t end well the last time.

For some they may end well. No matter which stage of a loving relationship you consider, each stage brings with it intense, and sometimes overwhelming, emotion.

Many resort to feeling that True love hurts.

There are stages where we feel inexperienced with love and relationships, there then comes massive confusion during the comfortable period, wondering if we’re still in love or if the love has faded.

Finally, for the majority of loving relationships, there comes the breakup – incredibly painful and emotionally damaging.

After all of that fun stuff comes one of two things: peace or agony. We either accept that we 'lost' the person whom we loved and move on with our lives, or we find ourselves unable to let go and instead live on in the shadow of that relationship.

Some are able to make clean breaks while others are fated to yearn, but to never again touch.

It should come as no surprise that so many refuse to allow themselves to fall in love again. I used to be among. They’re likely still hurting from the last love, not being too eager to go through the whole process again. Or they are probably disillusioned with the whole ''love'' concept.

Today, as I am writing these lines, there's one thing that has definitely changed from those times and it is that I have learnt the difference between 'love' and 'Love'- as in with a Capital L, the same way God is written with a Capital 'G'.

Continue Reading here: The difference between love and Love.