Making Friends while Studying Abroad | #SingaporeSignatures

“Okay, guys! This is going to be a super long message. I'm sorry for disturbing you but I feel I need to share whatever is happening to me.

I'm just not okay guys!

I'm not.

Honestly!

I know I'm lucky to be where I am and that too in such a prestigious school (they keep saying this every day) but I'm honestly I'm not happy- I am far from being happy.

“I think I was super exhausted as I got here. I traveled alone and was simply tired throughout. We had a shuttle with the other international students traveling to college from the airport. Everybody was talking to everybody except me. I just didn't have the energy to initiate a talk. 😭😭😭😭                        

“So I just sat and slept in the shuttle. Our shuttle broke down just 20 minutes before reaching campus and everybody got out except me. I was sleeping😭😭😭

“I felt like crying. The buildings were so different. 😭 The campus is super nice but right now I just can't appreciate it. 😭😭😭                        

“The other part of the problem: there is this girl who had created a chat group and I was/am on it. And the people on it are 'supercool' but I didn't really participate in the chat. 😭😭😭
                        

“And also, I was talking a peer- we were chatting a lot and even when I was on the plane she was advising me about things- we were both so excited to see each other and since she came in earlier than me, she was planning to show me the campus.

                      

“I was not mingling with peeps on the chat group because I was talking to him constantly. I told myself that we would be best friends or something because we were getting along so well virtually. 😩😩😩                      

“But when I arrived on campus, I realized that she was mingling with the chat people and I was just left there, all alone. I was too depressed by this to make new friends during orientation. 😭😭😭
               

“And we finally met up on Sunday to talk and we spent one hour together- it was bizarre- suddenly we were estranged and I could sense how bored and disappointed she was.

“I tried talking to people but to no avail guys 😭😭😭😭😭. Everything is making me so depressed and I fell sick.

“I know that I may struggle academically but I’m not scared of that- I know I’ll make it. But I never thought I would struggle so much socially 😩😩😩. I am focusing and wishful thinking too much on the wrong relationships. What should I do? 😭😭😭😭😭

You shouldn't even in your scariest nightmares react this in way. Come on, it's not the end of the world. And I'm being really positive when I say this. You didn't talk to anyone on day 1, you will eventually even if it is week 2. I didn't talk to others on my college’s Whatsapp group too, however, when I eventually I got here, the conversations developed quite naturally. Actually not knowing anyone in advance virtually gives you more scope to engage in some sort of information extraction and sharing with the person.

But what the hell should I do? Everybody has already got his/her own friend group. I don't know what to talk about. 😭😭😭                        

One simple hack during Orientation for me went as: Say your name and country name and ask the people questions about themselves. Start rattling questions. It’s psychologically proven, people like to talk about themselves. Pinched them by your side by having them talk about themselves and open up. Ask them how excited they are and how's their country like.
                      

😭😭😭 I just can't muster that much courage. Honestly. 😭😭😭.

                     

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Over the past few weeks, since my friends and I have dispatched ourselves from Mauritius to several nooks and corners of the world to pursue our further studies, many have been feeling low and often I would receive messages such as the above lines.

Why is there that feeling of not being able to socialise to begin with?

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