The following is a Guest Post and may not be in line with the philosophy of Our Alter Ego. I just wanted to give people the opportunity I always thirsted for but never got, which is a platform for expression. I hope you appreciate the endeavours.
Be Light,
Much Love,
Iam Aehr.
. . .
The 'I' in the following work reflects members of today’s society.
The title is inspired by the song ‘Stressed Out’ from 21pilots.
Stereotyped ideological indoctrination do they call the whole process of teaching a child what is ‘right’ to become a ‘collaborative’ member of today’s society.
I have also been indoctrinated.
As a boy, I have stoically imbibed masculine traits. And as a girl, I have learnt the lessons of ‘decency’ by heart.
The first few steps I made were enough for me to notice that living by the ‘rules’ pleased everybody. The idea of being at peace by pleasing everyone coerced me to sign my first "trade" agreement with this world (check I Trade You post here). I was too young to foresee the dangers of the living by the conditions: pleasing people is the only way to reach their hearts and earn their respect.
This ‘simple’ guideline of life eventually trickled down to a paranoid trait of mine; I started caring what others said…to a large extent.
I became vulnerable to others’ words: every frown, every shrug, every praise and criticism pricked me as a dart hits its target.
My name was Blurryface and I cared what others thought. I became amorphous. As a mere piece of clay, I was molded by other’s opinion. I chose to wear red because "red really suits you dear" and spent most of my days at the gym because "dude, samem nuvo nissa la!!"
My inner turmoil to pay heed to everybody devoured my pure, innocent aura. I was estranged of me; my name was actually Blurryface and I made others’ thoughts my lifeblood.
Negative feelings started coming; slowly at first, then at an obnoxiously unmatchable pace. I wanted relief from the toxic burden of self-centeredness that was cringing me…Signing the ‘’trade’’ agreement was a huge mistake.
My complex had reached its pinnacle- I had shed all tears and tried engineering my inner self.
I could sense an oasis of positivity: nature. My crave for acceptance made me forget that I was also part of nature and that unlike most of nature’s creatures- I was not carefree. Flowers blossom irrespective of others’ thoughts, birds chirp without expecting others to praise them and spiders still thrive though many people hate them!!!
So why should I hinge my life on others’ comments? I mentally tore my "trade" agreement. A little positivity was enough to render my life blissful- I felt grateful for everything. I knew who I am and I was no longer Blurryface.
- Kanika Canhye