I don't really like the idea of eternally or rather continuosly staying with a family. It's restricting, whatever you do is not enough and everything you do is simply wrong. It's so draining, you wouldn't imagine to what extent. I hate how my family is so complicated. We all have some kind of ego to bring forth in every situation. I can otherwise be patient with anything except replying back to them in their face and making my point. I hate being dominated, I hate being ruled, I hate having to make comprises to stay under the same roof with the family.
I have never believed in making comprises, but it's not like I don't make them at all. I get it that all the other members are comprising too, most undoubtedly more than I do. But to be honest, I don't want to give a damn about that. Yes, I enjoy being selfish.
I like to do the houehold chores when it suits me and not necessarily when it is required. I like to eat what I want to eat irrespective of what there is at home or what there is not. Yes, I am a criminal. Hang me now.
Have you ever heard someone say, "You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours"? That's all about compromise and cooperation. It's the idea that if two or more people each get a little of what they want, then everybody will be happy.Compromise is important to keep in mind while you're living with your family.
Compromise is part of life and part of relationships, and most couples over time become acutely sensitive to each other's likes and dislikes. But it's not the same with a two-generation family or even a three-generation family.
It's easy for the girlfriend or husband to mould themselves to the likings of their partners, but extremely difficult for parents to do the same with the younger generation. Why you ask? Simply because if little Max doesn't like Brocolli, we still need to urge him eat that because he doesn't know anything about life and the good attributes of the green thing. Some years later, when little Max finally develops a hoarse and husky voice and still doesn't like brocolli, we'll he is being difficult and thinks money is growing on trees. The young man is now seen as someone who doesn't value what his parents buy or do for him.
Now replace Max by your partner. Tada, the whole story makes no sense. If my partner doesn't want to eat brocolli, it's simply because he doesn't like it.
There, the ageism. The child-adult complex.
What I mean to say is that the younger generation will never be old enough to have choice. Unless they are finally independent and leave the roof that tries to manipulate their likes and dislikes because of their patronising behaviours as parents.
Adults can make choices, are allowed to refuse or agree. Kids are meant to be the eternal yes-man.
The most difficult phase strikes during teenagehood. That's when parents are meant to switch from direction-givers to advice-givers but find it very difficult to do so.
What is more, as the younger generation, to continue to make such compromises till probably our twenties, we are ripped off of our emotional health and mental peace. That's what eventually turns us into what we vowed we would never be: Our own parents!
Compromise is part of life and part of relationships, and most couples over time become acutely sensitive to each other's likes and dislikes. But it's not the same with a two-generation family or even a three-generation family.
It's easy for the girlfriend or husband to mould themselves to the likings of their partners, but extremely difficult for parents to do the same with the younger generation. Why you ask? Simply because if little Max doesn't like Brocolli, we still need to urge him eat that because he doesn't know anything about life and the good attributes of the green thing. Some years later, when little Max finally develops a hoarse and husky voice and still doesn't like brocolli, we'll he is being difficult and thinks money is growing on trees. The young man is now seen as someone who doesn't value what his parents buy or do for him.
Now replace Max by your partner. Tada, the whole story makes no sense. If my partner doesn't want to eat brocolli, it's simply because he doesn't like it.
There, the ageism. The child-adult complex.
What I mean to say is that the younger generation will never be old enough to have choice. Unless they are finally independent and leave the roof that tries to manipulate their likes and dislikes because of their patronising behaviours as parents.
Adults can make choices, are allowed to refuse or agree. Kids are meant to be the eternal yes-man.
The most difficult phase strikes during teenagehood. That's when parents are meant to switch from direction-givers to advice-givers but find it very difficult to do so.
What is more, as the younger generation, to continue to make such compromises till probably our twenties, we are ripped off of our emotional health and mental peace. That's what eventually turns us into what we vowed we would never be: Our own parents!